Afterplay, the post-intercourse foreplay counterpart, is one of the most important, yet surprisingly neglected, aspects of the intimate relationship.
If you search for foreplay on the Internet, you will easily find plenty of information about it. However, if you look for this term, the information will be scarce. In fact, afterplay (and after play) is not a headword in most dictionaries yet. More disappointingly still, there is no trace of it in the major online encyclopedias like Wikipedia.com and Answers.com to date. This may explain why it is a new concept to many people, especially men.
However, this should not undermine its importance. If there is no after play, the intimate relationship will be imbalanced. And this is why foreplay and after play are considered equally important. In this article, I will attempt to bridge this gap. I will first describe after play and then explain why it is an important practice in the relationship.
The three parts of lovemaking
In order to have a successful intercourse experience, partners normally need to engage in the following three basic parts: foreplay, penetration and after play. It is pretty much like the introduction, the body and the conclusion of a book or an article. It is also comparable to the stages in human development. When you are a child, you are allowed to do certain things and banned from others; similarly in bed you should start with teasing your partner and should not go beyond at this point. After childhood comes adulthood with all its vigor and adventurous expeditions. And finally, we grow older and want to wind down gradually. Likewise, you should not just turn around and start sleeping, and maybe snoring, after ejaculation. This is because you have elevated your partner high up during the last two parts of the intimate relationship, and now you also need to take her down slowly and gently until you reach the ground again, not suddenly fling her down!
How can I do that?
After play is all about the kissing, caressing, hugging, cuddling, complementing and any other act that shows your partner that you are still interested in her, and that your interest has not suddenly diminished. In other words, show her that she is a love & life partner that you are passionate about, not merely a sex partner in whom you are disinterested after your passing desire.
You should spend some time doing this. It should be as long as foreplay. Usually, it should be around 10-20 minutes. However, this figure is a merely approximation. People are different, and you should keep watching your partner in order to decide when it is enough.
Levels of afterplay
There is a symmetric relation between foreplay and after play. To illustrate, foreplay starts with a gentle kiss or touch, and gradually increases in intensity. Conversely, the beginning of after play, because it is immediately after ejaculating, is tense - such as kissing passionately and hugging tightly - and then it decreases gradually. Simply, as the intimate relationship should not start with the penetration part, it should not end in it.
Why is afterplay important?
In addition to the above, performing afterplay is believed to help shorten the foreplay part of the next sex session. To explain, afterplay will help her achieve a positive sexual experience. This will make her long for the next time she is with you in bed to repeat this experience. In other words, it will make her psychologically prepared for more 'lovemaking' in the future.
Another advantage of afterplay is its ability to compensate for your inadequacies. Are you looking for a quick and simple solution for your premature ejaculation? Does she have a problem reaching orgasm? Is either of you suffering from a low libido? Try afterplay to compensate for your impotence emotionally.
To conclude, men tend to focus on the action part - the middle part - of the intimate relationship. However, women tend to enjoy foreplay and afterplay more. Better communication between partners can help enhance the understanding of each other's needs and desires.